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Here, my story begins…

A birth, courtesy Pinterest
I don’t know, but I’ve been told


My parents lived in Bloomfield, New Jersey but I was born in Saint Michael’s Hospital in Newark. My real last name (I call myself Paul Smithee on this site) looks Italian because it has a vowel on the end, but we are of traditional pale German-Irish stock. When the time came to bring baby Paul home from the hospital, my mother was quite upset with the nurses when “they tried to give me a little Italian baby!”. I am satisfied any other attempts  at a switch also failed, for I look pretty much like my brother Dick.

A couple of other things that I was told but don’t actually remember: one time I got out of the house naked and walked pretty far down Olive Street before anyone noticed. Once I pulled a chest of drawers over on myself but Dick heard it fall and got me out from under there. Thanks, bro.

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