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Posted on by Paul

How to write an advice column

Actually, it’s pretty easy, although the first year requires a bit more effort. To get started, visit some government and business websites and grab some of the most interesting content. Your taxes and supermarket purchases paid for that stuff, why not use it?

Hurricane coming? Head over to the AARP site (also good for finding scary scam warnings to pass along) and copy their advice on what to have in your hurricane Go Bag. Be sure to give the AARP credit, they can be an advice columnist’s best friend.

Once you’ve built up an inventory of questions, advice, recipes, and material glommed from official sites, you can use and occasionally reuse them. People are afraid of hurricanes, so hurricane advice is generally a winner. The season lasts only from June through November, so don’t wear it out.

Keep in mind you’ll need enough words to fill a newspaper column every day. Keeping paragraphs short will give you extra white space. If it looks like you still won’t have enough words, paste in your contact addresses, breaking them across several lines:

Send a helpful idea to:
Helperlady
P. O. Box 14364
Scranton, PA 18503
or fax it to 1-570-HELPERLADY
or email it to helperlady@helperlady.com
Please mention your city and state.

Column still not full? Double-space those contacts.

Try to choose at least one reader question or idea each week that deals with a health subject currently in the news:

Dear Helperlady: What is this “clean eating” I keep hearing about? Should I do it? Am I doing it already? Is it anything like the scene in Fight Club where Marla orders a meal, Jack tells the waiter “Clean food, please”, and the waiter replies “In that case, sir, may I advise against the clam chowder”?  — Mary Ellen in Cincinatti

Start your answer “According to the Mayo Clinic” and summarize whatever Mayo says about “clean eating”, or other health-related subject. Tell the reader to be sure to drink a lot of water. There, you’ve got half a column. Out of ideas? Print  your contact addresses again, it’s been two weeks.

Interested in bread? Want to write a column about it? Come up with a cool title and quote some stuff from wholegrainscouncil.org. “All grains start life as whole grains…”. Be sure to give the Council credit for understanding their own business. There, you’re done, and it’s not even cocktail time yet.

Don’t discard absurd or obvious reader ideas out-of-hand, they fill up column space and can give your readers a smile:

Dear Helperlady: When you write a phone number for a restaurant or such in your address book, add the hours it is open and when it closes. When you need to phone the place and it is closed, you’ll know when to call again. — M.G. in Miami

An allusion to the possibility of being “left alone” can create anxiety and build loyalty to your column:

Dear Helperlady: Wives, in your telephone book, make a list of those repairmen you trust and might need if you are left alone without your “problem solver”. Below is a starter list:

— Furnace conked out – call Tony, with phone number.
— Plumber – name and phone number.
— Electrician, etc.

This list is helpful if you are left alone and something breaks down or goes kerflooey. — Susan Soo in Michigan

Next, here’s where recycling the early stuff can really shorten your workday:

Dear Helperlady: You have a recipe for peach cobbler that my husband loves! Would you please reprint it? I have misplaced my copy and he’s been in a sulk. — Cora Mae in Yakima

Cora Mae, this delicious recipe is also a favorite of my own. You’ll need:

3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
etc., etc. – the longer the list, the better.

Double space if you need to.

You can also run a side gig of organizing loosely-related items you’ve already printed into pamphlets and selling them for five dollars:

For a list of (household product) uses including cleaning, cooking and even beauty tips, order my six-page (household product) pamphlet by visiting www.helperlady.com, or by sending a long, self-addressed, stamped (70 cents) envelope together with $5 to: Helperlady / (household product), P. O. Box 14364, Scranton, PA 18503

Good luck with your column!

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